[OPEN] Forgotten Memories

Grinning a bit at his head being petted by the older troll, Corvus slid the husktop in to his syladex along with his bag, give in the bins that were used as tables that were once used as tables a quick look to make sure he wasn’t leaving anything behind, he gave Castle and affirmative nod. ♦ Yup, I'm ready to go, thankth for fixing my huthk top~ ♦


Corvus glanced around to get his bearings then with a tug of Castles sleeve he began leading the way though the alley ways to there goal. ♦ THo cathtle, how old are you? ♦ He asked as he walked, just casualy making small talk to pass the time, that’s what mature trolls do right?

You grin and wait for him to be ready, it was interesting being able to be calm around another troll, you would usually snap or be sarcastic until you piss the off, it's the way you protect yourself, though it still makes you have a lot of problems anyway, but at least you're not easy to figure out, and as long as you keep talking with the truth, you're okay with being like that -Don't worry about it, it's my job after all, and I like it- you grin, feeling pleased at his reaction.

Ah, he's tugging on your sleeve again, you wonder if this is something he does often and with other people, you kind of wish he doesn't. You follow him in silence, not really knowing of what to talk about, it felt so strange, you always have something to say, but right now you don't. You look at him -I'm 10 sweeps old, what about you Corvus?- you ask back, you were curious since he looked small, he is probably younger than you.

Corvus had to walk faster than usual to keep the pace of the taller troll through the winding streets, keeping a mental note of ther direction as he looked up at Castle to answer the gold bloods question

♦ I'm thix, hehe, newly certified ath a grade one medical practitioner! ♦

Corvus beamed a bit at the title attached to his name, tho it was a low level general certificate required to legally practice medicine beyond common first aid, he was happy to obtain it so young, now he could focus his studies in to speciality fields, just as soon as he decides what he wants to study first, genetics and blood seemed to hold a certain allure for the small wriggler, perhaps one day...

Corvus shook his head in surprise as soon as he realised he was daydreaming and nearly walked in to a poll, hoping castle didn’t notice, he posed a new question of his own.


♦ THo your a gold blood, thilly quethtion, but would you have any cool pthionic powerth? ♦

You look down at the youger troll feeling a little surprised, you were expecting him to be younger but not a difference of four sweeps, it kinda makes you feel older than what you are -Six sweeps? You're younger than what I expected- you smile a little towards his excitement because of his title, you didn't know much about that kind of things, and it wasn't that high probably, but he's proud of it and that's good enough -Incredible you've achieved that so young, well done!- you smile again and ruffle his hair before you continue walking.

You pay special attention to your surroundings searching for 'that' place, but everything has changed and you can't quite remember where it is, not that you want to remember at all, but maybe if you do this last visit you'll be able to let go of it, of your past, and you'll be able to learn to control your psionics with Sersen's help, and then other trolls would stop calling you a dangerous monster like they always do, you can't fix the harm you did in the past, but maybe you can stop the harm you'll do in the future. At least that's what you dream for.

You tense up a little and look at Corvus when he asks that, that was a dangerous topic, but he's been good with you, even for a blueblood, and you guess you trust him to some point, it also should be fine as long as you don't use them -I'm not sure if they are that cool- you manage to chuckle, remembering that time -But yes, I do have psionics- that's it, it should be enough with that answer right? You really hope he doesn't asks for a demostration about your psionics, or you might hurt him like the others.

♦ Really! ♦

Corvus gasped, getting excited again, he did enjoy learning about how different trolls gained unique ability's and powers, and he loved to see them in action.

♦ Can you thhow me! Pleathe pleathe pleathe! ♦


He was hopping on the spot now in anticipation and eagerness, this could be a better day than he could of hoped for, no new corpse, but a new friend with powers more than makes up for that!, corvus was so excited he even forgot that he was supposed to be a mature troll and a doc terror, not a hyperactive wriggler

You nod and smile at his reaction, even if he's a highblood and such, he is still pretty young, so you're not surprised at all. You stop walking as soon as he asks for that, of course he would ask! How can you be so stupid? But you didn't feel like lying to him about something like that, after all you don't like lying, even so you would have done it if it means not having to show him your psionics, not having to control them, not having the fear of hurting someone again with them.

You start feeling a little dizzy and you even go a little pale, it's fear, you know that much. You shake your head without looking at him -Sorry... I can't do that Corvus, I'm sorry- You said in a murmur -Thanks for helping me, I can find the place alone- that's not a lie, you can find it alone, but you're not going to search it at all. Without saying anything else you start running, leaving Corvus behind, it's better if you don't hurt anyone again.

Wait.... did you do something wrong? Why is he running? Didn’t he like you?
Those thoughts spun around your think pan as you watched him tear away down the ally ways, leaving you behind.

♦ W-wath it thomething I thaid? ♦


You whisper quietly to your self, biting back the tears.
Tho in you sorrow, something struck you as odd, castle looked rather ill when he ran, did he have a fever? Was the cuts on his arms infected already? Despite how you feel, he is still your patient, you have to make sure he is ok.

♦ WAIT CATHTLE! ♦


You call while you sprint off in search for the gold blood

You're not sure for how long you've been running but you stop when you see that place, you look at it in the distance for a moment, the memories appear in your mind and there's no use at trying to stop them, because you can't. Now you're pretty sure this is the place you've been searching for, the place where that disaster happened, where you lost the life you liked and cherished... where you turned into the so called monster you are now.

You slowly approach that place, it is exactly as you left it, destroyed and almost everything was burnt to ashes, the only difference is, you're the only one here, all of the other trolls that were with you that time are somewhere else if alive, you can only remember their faces full of scars, you can't go back to that time where your only worry was to survive. You decide to sit in the middle of the ruins and try to calm yourself, you're hot, really hot, it's probably because of all the memories and the feeling building inside you right now, if you continue like this you might end up causing another disaster, you have to calm down.

-It's better like this, of course it this, everything ended up like that because they asked me to show them, so I won't let it end up like that again, I have to control it- you whisper yo yourself trying to calm down, but of course it isn't working, if only Sersen was here, if only you didn't have this psionics, maybe everything would be better.

you dash down the streets seeking your gold blood companion to no avail, where the hell did he go? why did he run? none of this made much sense to you. trolls should never run out on their doc terrors when sick. you stop at a cross roads and give a irritated growl, dammit you don't have time to get lost.

after a few moments of weighing up your options, you decide that for sake of finding castle quickly, you would use it, your mind reading ability's to seek out Castle's surface thoughts to find him ♦ thorry cathtle, i have to invade your privacy for a bit, promithe i'll keep everything confidential. ♦ you mutter as you opened your sense's to the world around you, and practically get deafened buy the magnitude of troll thoughts in the city.♦ gahh, dam it, could every one thtop thinking tho i can lithten! ♦ you growl through gritted teeth. 

then you hear it, Castles voice among the tidal wave of thoughts, just what you were looking for, focusing on just his thoughts you follow them through the streets, tears forming in the corners of your eyes the more you listened to them and how much pain he sounded in.

before long you found your self standing behind Castle, tears streaming down your face now that you felt you  understood his reasons for running. ♦ im thorry Cathtle, i wont athk for a demonthtration again.... ♦   
  

You're slowly managing to calm down, at this rate you won't star a fire again like that time, in the same place, the only thing left is for Sersen and Corvus to arrive so you end up hurting them too, though... why Corvus? It's true he's pretty kind and cheerful to you even being who you are, even if the difference in blood castes is that big, and he helped you in finding this place, so you guess you can think of him as a friend... That thought alone is strange to you in many ways, it's been a long time since you thought of someone that way, because of course your burnt them all in the past.

You sigh. You should really stop thinking about those kind of things right now, it's not helping your mood at all, you look up at the sky and remain in silence, without moving an inch. Until you here a familiar voice behind you, you turn around a little and your eyes widen in surprise, the view is quite unexpected.

-C-Corvus?! What happened? Why are you crying?- you stand up and approach him, you're about to hold him from his shoulders but you remember your body is burning and your hands stop mid-way, what are you supposed to do right now? Your hands turn into fists and you bite your lower lip in concern -Corvus, did someone hurt you? Am I supposed to go and hit someone?- You can't believe you're seriously starting to freak out.

you drop to your knees, and sob, you could feel his pain of the long past memory's, the guilt and resentment to him self were over powering for your underdeveloped ability.

♦ n-no, n-no one hurt me.... ♦

you choke out weakly

♦ i'm thorry about your friendth, i-im thure you didn't mean to hurt them... i-it jutht thlipped your control and went wild. ♦

it was hard to close up your senses now that you were flooded with his pain, so you cried out his sadness, it was all you could do now





♦ p-pleathe don't feel bad cathtle, it wath a mithtake you made a long time ago, im thorry for prying.... ♦

You're now completely freaking out, your composed and serious usual self that knows how to deal with this kind of things suddenly decided to go on vacations because you don't know what the fuck is happening anymore. This troll you just met is crying for you, he is saying you that you're not at fault, he's comforting you, he understands how you feel even better than yourself and you don't understand why, a blueblood crying for a goldblood? Is this even real? Such a bad joke.

You kneel in front of him and you suddenly see him, you see your ex-moirail in him, when both of you were younger, and you feel the urge to hug him and tell him it's alright but how are you supposed to do that when you just met him? You know what? Fuck this, if it doesn't makes sense now, it won't harm you to make it more senseless.

You bit your lower lip and pull him closer until you're hugging him, this can't feel weirder. It's then when you realize he's not your ex-moirail, he's another troll, and somehow that makes you feel better -I'm sorry Corvus, I'm really sorry... Why are you even crying for someone like me?- your voice slowly turns into a whisper as you talk -I don't deserve something like this from you- and you let go. All of the feelings you were storing for sweeps just overwhelm you in such an easy way you feel week, and for the first time in sweeps... you cry.

you don't have a answer for the gold bloods question, why do you feel so strongly for a troll you only just met that you would cry for him. was it because of your untrained mind reading powers having a side effect on you? you'll never know, only that right now it is your turn to hug a crying troll. you draw i him in to a tight hug and bury your head in to his shoulder.

♦ i dont know why, buy i care about you cathtle, i want to help you if i can, would you let me help? ♦

you ask as you pat him on the back and let him cry on you. you also notice that he isn't overwhelming you with emotion as much now, perhaps you senses are closing up now, thats good, you feel kinda bad you invaded his mind like that, even if it was only surface thoughts 

♦ im thorry i read your mind, im not good at turning it off once it thtartth, i only wanted to find you... and then i felt how much pain you were in... ♦

you clutch at his shirt as you apologize and hope he forgives you

You weren't expecting him to hug you and you weren't expecting an answer of him, but he gave you both, all of the feelings you had bottled up from the past sweeps just start pouring out in the shape of gold tears, your chest and your throat hurt because of the crying and you feel like staying like this with him is the best you could ever do, there is finally someone that understands you this much, someone that knows your feelings even if you don't show them, you hate lies but all this time you've been lying to yourself, and now you feel free, finally free.

-Yes Corvus, please help me...- you plead in a shaking voice, you never thought you would show yourself like this to someone ever again, but it's happening, and you're glad it is with him -It's ok Corvus, I'm not angry- you're finally starting to calm down, the patting feels nice -Just let me stay like this for a while...- you ask as you keep holding him tight, close to you, and the crying slowly turns to sobbing as the tears stop coming out.

you nuzzle in to his shoulder and felt like a weight was lifted off you now, he didn't seem to mind your invasion, which was such a relief to hear, most trolls would be threatening your life for doing such things. 
♦ im glad your not angry... and i will help you ath much ath i can ♦ you whisper softly, still patting his back in a attempt to sooth the pain and sorrow in your new friend. is this what being a moirail is like? is that what this is? you were always confused at the concept of the diamonds, figuring that's how you should treat every one, but this... this feels different, it feels right. holding him close and easing his pain. 

while part of your mind was in the present, holding castle in a tight hug, another part, your medical mind was racing to find the cause to castles lack of control taking in everything you knew about him so far, which wasn't much and coming up with several theory's

♦ umm, do you really withh you didn't have powerth? i could help you uthe them... ♦

was it too soon to offer that?, dang it, you just calmed him down, don't blow it now!

You've stopped crying now and you're just silently hugging Corvus, your body temperature is usually pretty high, not only because you're a lowblood, but
because of your psionics, they make your temperature rise even more than the usual for a goldblood, that's why you don't like touching people a lot, you might burn them, but right now you can't bring yourself to let go of the little blueblood in your arms, you just hope you're not hurting him or you're going to feel guilt again.

-I can't be angry with someone who is helping me this much already... Thanks Corvus- you whisper too, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful moment that has appeared between both of you. Taking a deep breathe you separate enough to see his face, there's actually no point in hiding your face anymore, though you're still hugging him because it feels nice.

-It's not like I can get rid of them... so I guess learning to use them is for the best- you sigh, venting out like that helped you quite a lot and you're not feeling that sad or depressed anymore, just a little bit frustrated, you have a lot of things to do about this matter after all -I didn't burn you right?- you look at his expressions in search of a gesture of pain, if you did hurt him you're really going to hate yourself so much.

you look up at castle and smile, he felt warmer that you expected, a lot warmer, but not painfully so. You felt like you were hugging a warm rock that had been left in the sun all day. Ant you found it relaxing, too relaxing actually.

♦ no... you feel tho lovely and warm. ♦ You reply a little drunkenly as your conciousness begins to fade. You forgot that using your underdeveloped mind-reading ability left you exhausted after using it in such a noisy place, you hope castle doesn’t freak out, you better warn him
♦ Im glad your not angry... ♦ whatever you were going to say afterwards was lost to quiet snores as sleep claimed you and left your body limp in the yellow bloods arms

You blush slightly, lovely? Warm? That was pretty much new, you always heard sounds of pain when you touch others in these state, but the little blue blood actually likes it, and that makes you feel happy and not that much of a monster as you usually feel. You're too distracted thinking about your feelings and the new friend you just made that you don't notice the change in his tone of voice, you also don't notice that his conciousness is fading away and he's pretty much falling asleep in your arms.

Whatever he was saying you don't hear him, you only look at him when you feel s different weight against you, and you discover his body went limp, at first you just look at him confused, with a lot of thoughts still in your mind, until you finally understand what's happening, and you honestly start freaking out -Corvus?- you shake him a little, with no response -Corvus? Are you ok? Shit- you lean a little and then you hear him, he's snoring quietly. He's asleep.

-Don't scare me like that, dammit- you sigh, feeling relieved, you wouldn't usually react like this, but when it comes to him somehow you can't help it, and the fact that all of this emotional thing just happened doesn't helps much. Carefully so you don't wake him up, you shift and change positions so you're leaning against what it was a wall, with him on top of your legs resting his head in your chest, that way at least he won't be sleeping in the floor full of debris. You have to admit this is a little embarrasing though.